What we hear the philosophers saying and what we find in their writings should be applied in our pursuit of the happy life. We should hunt out the helpful pieces of teaching, and the spirited and noble-minded sayings which are capable of immediate practical application—not far-fetched or archaic expressions or extravagant metaphors and figures of speech—and learn them so well that words become works. No one to my mind lets humanity down quite so much as those who study philosophy as if it were a sort of commercial skill and then proceed to live in a quite different manner from the way they tell other people to live.”
― Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
In this article we will embark on a journey to find a possible way to live a good life. We will bring together the ideas of great philosophers and the work of many people who have produced countless studies on how to live a happy life. We will divide our endeavour into two parts about wealth and health, as balancing these two is of utmost importance.
Heal your soul, happiness is not a goal
Can we simply choose happiness as a goal and pursue it? And is there a catch to this approach? According to many studies, happiness is not something we can set as a goal. It’s a byproduct of our actions. Imagine if we told ourselves “I’m going to make happiness my goal”. How would we start with such a goal?
For many of us this is a really difficult question to answer. Because happiness comes as a by-product of doing something that we love. For example, if we like to cook and we succeed in preparing a difficult dish. We feel happy. But our real goal was to prepare the dish, not to feel happy.
We can now see that happiness is a natural by-product of making progress in areas of life that are important to us. The amount of joy would vary from person to person and from activity to activity. It depends on the importance we attach to the task. We can even say that progress equals happiness.
It’s a hit to improve bit by bit
Have you ever put off doing something big and scary? Was it because it was really difficult? Or was it because we were not using the ideal tool to deal with such a situation? Often we damage our ability to achieve great things by allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the sheer size of the goal.
Does this mean that we should only aim for small goals? Not at all, by all means go for big goals. The point is to be smart about where and how we start. If we want to buy a house, for many of us that means taking out a mortgage. Then we pay it off in reasonable instalments. In the beginning, they take, say, 40% of our income. But over time, as our earning power and skills grow, they tend to decrease.
It’s similar with goals. In the beginning, we may need to break the goal into many small pieces to get started. As time goes by and our abilities grow. We are able to take on bigger pieces or more difficult challenges. If something seems too difficult, just keep breaking it down into smaller pieces until it is no longer scary.
At this point, just start, because every journey begins with the first step. Over time, by following the above approach, you will inevitably improve. That’s the way life works. And maybe one day you will turn around and see mountains of goals solved that seemed impossible at the time.
Show you care, take and share
Are we just isolated islands in the vast sea of life? Or do we need other people to live a good life? Even with the current breakthroughs in technology, the ability to order almost anything and have it delivered to our doorstep in the blink of an eye, we have become more isolated. The thousands of years when we lived in tribes and helped each other are hard to ignore. They are still deeply ingrained in our brains.
Does that mean we rely less on each other? Not at all. It’s true that we live in greater privacy and isolation today, but we still rely on each other deeply. For example, if something is delivered to our doorstep, it’s done by someone else. And if it’s delivered by an automated machine, someone else had to design it, someone else manufactured it, and now you’re enjoying the fruits of their labour.
One of the longest running studies of happiness is still following the lives of many people from the time they are born until the day they leave us. If we are allowed to highlight just one finding from the study. It’s about relationships, and it’s about the right balance of giving and taking.
We simply need each other. To live a happy life, relationships are important. And for relationships to flourish, we need to help other people, we need to give them something of value. It’s no coincidence that our bodies reward us so much for helping others. Of course, it’s also fair to ask for help, because we all need help from someone. And that’s the way it should be.
To make it real, requires discipline of steel
Does discipline improve our lives? Does it make it worse? With discipline we get the freedom to choose what we want to do and to do it. Without it we can do the same, but we need a lot of luck to help us along the way. It’s like an analogy to leadership and management. Our purpose sets the direction (leadership) and discipline ensures that we move in that direction (management).
If happiness is a by-product of making progress. And to make progress we have to go on a journey and then take a first step. It’s simply a necessary skill to have in order to live a good life. Obviously there are people who have been blessed with an enormous amount of luck or inborn discipline, and in that case let’s wish them well.
For the rest of us, we have to work our way up to the haven of discipline. It’s a journey well worth taking, for discipline frees us and allows us to do what we are meant to do, even when we don’t feel like it. Feelings are a bit tricky. Often we just don’t feel like doing this or that, but when we start, something amazing happens. It starts to feel good.
Don’t let your money rest, invest
Does it make sense to invest money when I’m earning little? And does it make sense to brush your teeth every day? You guessed it! It’s about developing good habits. At the beginning of our careers, when we’re earning less, it’s about learning and building habits. These will carry us through our lives, and over time will grow into amazing things.
When we’re young and inexperienced, it’s best to invest in ourselves first, through education, building habits, learning from our mistakes. It’s important to realise that the most precious thing we have is time and attention. Once it is gone, there is nothing you can do to get it back. If we realise this early in life, we can do great things.
Reading books or finding a mentor may not seem like superpowers, but they are. These two sources offer something of great value. It’s condensed time, or let’s call it sharing experiences. It is wise to stand on the shoulders of titans and avoid the same mistakes they have made and learnt the hard way.
As we grow in skill and experience and get more money. We will be ready to take care of it because of our right habits and the eye-opening trials we have gone through. Please remember that money is not about working more hours, it’s about value. So if we want more money, we have to give more value to other people.
For answers to strive, what is purpose of life?
Is there a definitive answer to the question ‘What is the meaning of life? Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. But does it matter? It matters, but in a slightly different way than we might think. It’s not really we who ask, it’s life itself that asks us ‘What is your purpose in life’?
The meaning of life is subjective and unique to each of us. It may seem counterintuitive as many people strive to be the best at similar deeds. The point is that each of us has a unique experience, a unique point of view, and so the concept of our purpose is also unique.
Because the purpose of our life is subjective and belongs to us. It can also change as we move through life. It’s never too late to start again. Of course, at some point we may not have as much time as we would like. But is it really about reaching a certain state, or is happiness about walking the path that leads us forward?
Maybe it’s not just about finishing something, but about enjoying the journey we’ve chosen for ourselves at this point in our lives.
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